The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
*SOB* God dammit. I've been crying for like the last hour. Fucking shit...my heart hurts, my nose is running and my eyes are puffy. To say this book broke me would be an understatement. I can't write a proper review at the moment because I'm an emotional wreck...devastation. But I will say...well hell now I'm at a loss for words choked up...nothing is coming to me. Once I can get my emotions in order, I will attempt at a good review. Bravo Katja, this book topped my list. I love you....seriously. I love you, not like that...but you're definitely one of my top favorite authors. Oh and I WANT JOSH FUCKING BENNETT!!!!!!!!!!!
Review to come.
These are the things that come to mind when I think of this book. I didn't want to finish it...ever. I wish I could experience it again but I am not sure my heart could take it just yet. But soon, I will read it again, because I need to. And I want to. I can't get this book or the characters out of my head. I took a small nap and the last thing I thought about as tears were still coming down my face was....Josh and all his gloriousness. *sigh*
There's a broken girl.
And there's a lonely boy.
Both lost and broken from their pasts. They are just trying to move through the motions and figure out where they fit in with the fucked up world that they're forced to live in. Neither of them want it, so they stay away from others as much as possible. Everyone ignores them at school, like they're some kind of freaks-and in a way they are. But they don't care being ignored because it's better than facing their reality. And the reality is this:
Nastya had a traumatic event in her life and she moved away from her home and family to live with her Aunt Margot to escape to gain a new identity at a new school and to be alone where no one will acknowledge her existence. And she likes it that way.
Josh Bennett is a lost and lonely boy who lost everything. He lost his family and became alone. He has one best friend Drew who is at his side no matter what. And he's the kind of friend that he needs to keep him in line but also that will give Josh his space. He also has Drew's amazing parents and sister(which you kind of hate for a bit of the book) but eventually she turns out okay. Josh sits in the courtyard at school everyday like a ghost, where no one fucks with him. No one acknowledges his existence either...except Nastya.
Once she enters his world, there's no going back. Their chemistry sizzles and it's utterly captivating and beautiful. But she doesn't open up to him right away and he doesn't either. It's a prolonging process but it's amazing. She's intrigued by the fact that not a single person(other than Drew Leighton) will go near him so she sticks around to solve the mystery that is Josh Fucking Bennett. In which case, they eventually solve each other.
Okay, I'm still in tears when I think about this book because I didn't know what to expect coming into it when I bought it. I saw the amazing amount of raving reviews and my interest was piqued. So I bought it and even put a couple of other (really awesome and amazing I might add) books I was reading beforehand on hold because once I opened this book I couldn't stop. Though it took me 2 days to read it, and I could have read it in one day, I took my time because every page was enthralling and mesmerizing. I didn't want to stop yet I didn't want to be finished just yet either. My heart broke, my lungs burned, my eyes stung, my nose ran like a faucet. I smiled, I laughed, I cried like a baby that I am and most of all, I LOVED. I loved everything about this book. I loved the characters. I loved the story(eventhough it was really heartbreaking), I loved the banters between the characters. I loved the writing-so compelling and smooth and perfect. I was frustrated with both Nastya and Josh at times, but my love for them never faltered because I understood why they made the choices they did.
The characters....let me say, these characters will FOREVER hold a place in my heart. Each one carried something amazing and awesome to the story. Drew was funny and he was a great friend to both Nastya and Josh. I loved his sexual innuendos. Damn, he was a sarcastic ass, but the best kind. Mr and Mrs Leghton were great too. They really showed their caring side for Josh and really looked out for him and they were welcoming to Nastya the first time they met her. Sunday dinner at the Leighton's house was nothing short of amusing and entertaining. I felt like I was there with them. Sarah(Drew's sister), again she pissed me off but I learned to be okay with her. Tierny, I would have liked to see more of her in it but from what I did get of her was great. I could tell she cared for Drew. I wished they would get their shit together though and admit their feelings(wishful thinking, I know since they are both stubborn as Hell). Nastya's parents weren't in it too much but enough to know I loved them. They went through hell at the events that took place a couple years ago with their daughter. I can't imagine the pain they suffered. My heart broke for them. I liked Asher too. He was a protective brother to her and it made me smile, but also made me sad the reason he had to be so protective. *wipes tears*
Nastya...oh I loved her. She was such a broken soul, you didn't know if she'd ever be put back together. I cried for her. So many tears. I cringed and sobbed and wished I could reach out and hug the ever loving shit out of her because she needed it. But she was a strong and brave girl too. Also, I loved that she didn't put up with anyone's bull shit. It showed she had some respect left for herself, even if she didn't think so. Her wit was awesome! She had me laughing alot because the things that came out of her mouth was not what you were expecting. But it was awesome! She was such an amazing and memorable character and I'll never forget her.
And now, I save the best for last. *moment of silence* Josh. Josh Bennett. The man who makes wood and buidling things the most sexiest thing in the whole damn world. Josh fucking Bennett. God's most amazing creature. *sighs* I love him in the world's worst way. I have no idea how to put into words what I felt, feel for him. I still see him in my head and I drool, or smile or cry. All I know is if you've read this book, you understand. And when you do read this book, you'll understand and feel the same way. He will forever have a place in my top book boyfriend list. I was mad at him at times but I always loved him because he was so broken I wished I could have pieced his soul back together and hug him and tell him it would be alright. And then I wanted to see what else he could do with his hands beside building shit. Because Hoooooooly shit, I got a good idea what he could do. He will forever live in my heart and I will always love this boy who turned my world upside down. With just his words, he had my insides turned out and every part of me screaming OH HELL YES JOSH, I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT...JUST KEEP TALKING LIKE THAT. I WILL MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH FOR YOU. I LOVED that we get his POV. It made me love him even more, as if that would be possible!! But it also made my heart break so much worse for him. The pain he suffered, I suffered. The love he felt, I felt. It felt so real and so raw and so ridiculously unbearable. Gah, I can go on and on about Josh. Everything that came out of his mouth was pure torture and pain mixed with regret and loss and love. I LOVE YOU JOSH. I DO. *sigh*
Just FYI, it's not your typical insta-love kind of story, the development takes some building at first. It's a little slow in the beginning, which to me it didn't seem that way. But it needed to be slow paced to set the plot and once it gets moving...IT DOES NOT STOP! You don't want to put it down but then you don't want to finish it right away either. It was everything I need in a contemporary romance-with characters that will steal your heart and a plot that will have you turning every page, while cursing the one minute, swooning for Josh the next minute, panting the another minute, crying, begging, pleading, laughing, crying and loving! It brought out EVERY emotion I had to the surface and never let up until the last page. I lost ALOT of sleep while reading The Sea of Tranquility but I regret nothing whatsoever. For Josh, I'd do it again and again and again. Because seriously, where was a Josh Bennett when I was in high school?? They didn't exist.
I can't believe this is Katja's first novel. It feels like she's been writing forever. Sure it wasn't perfect but it was perfect enough for me not to care about perfect grammar or any of that. This is a book I will be reading again and again just to have my Joshy fix. And also I need the paperback copy when it's available because this baby is going on my shelf of favorites. And anyone who is wondering.....yes it's that good. Yes, you need to read it. And yes, you need to read it NOW. I'm telling you, have tissues at the ready because I guarentee you will be shedding quite a few. Okay well I leave you with my favorite quotes that touched my heart. I am so lost now, I want my friends back. I miss them already. *cries*
“I wished my mother was here tonight, which is stupid, because it’s an impossible wish.” He shrugs and turns to me, drowning the smile that cracks me every time.
“It’s not stupid to want to see her again.”
“It wasn’t so much that I wanted to see her again,” he says, looking at me with the depth of more than seventeen years in his eyes. “I wanted her to see you.”
“Wonderful. Last night's dinner, the charred remains of my dignity, and apparently, now, my undergarments, too. What else did I leave on Josh Bennett's bathroom floor?”
“Emilia," he says, and when he does, it warms me to my soul. "Every day you save me.”
“We're like mysteries to one another. Maybe if I can solve him and he can solve me, we can explain each other. Maybe that's what I need. Someone to explain me.”
“And as much as I'm telling her to stay here, I still want her to choose to come with me. To say fuck sanity and healing and closure. To say that I am the only thing she needs to be well and whole and alive. But we both know that's not true.”
“He's kissing me. And when he does, part of me is lost. But it's the part that's twisted and mangled and wrong, and for just that moment, with his hands in my hair and his lips on my mouth, I can pretend that it never existed.”
"Good Morning, Sunshine!" Josh F**king Bennett. By now, I'm pretty sure that if I were to find his birth certificate that is exactly what it would say.”
I STILL MISS THESE CHARACTERS.....GAH! I need to slap myself upside the head.
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