Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

*ADULT AND SEXUAL CONTENT*


OMG, where do I start? I don't even know what to say about this book. One thing's for sure, I didn't expect to be fully and ridiculously OBSESSED with this book. But I am. I had purchsed it months ago. And I had come across it many times while reading other books on my nook, and it allured me....but sadly I overlooked it. Why? Why God, why did I wait so long? Oh why did it take me over 3 months to finally read this when my friends were hounding me EVERYDAY to read it??? Well, for one reason was that I wasn't really reading adult books. I didn't hate them but YA was always my thing. I loved YA of all kinds. BUT, after I read Tempting the Best Man, I was SO READY for another astounding series that would floor me beyond recognition. And it did. OH GOD, DID IT. I would text or message my ladies daily about this book. I would complain or just plain COMBUST FROM CHRISTIAN GREY's persona. HOLYH SHIT. I thought they'd get sick of me, but we are all in the same boat...the FIFTY TRAIN and damn if that wasn't a mother fucking ride of my life!!!!!!! Jesus Christ, I was enthralled, intrigued, arounsed, frustrated, happy, sad....and everything else I could possibly think of. WOW!!! This. Book. Fucking. Rocked.!!!


Okay, I've got to say a few things before I get to the nitty gritty. This book, even though there may be similarities to Twilight, is SO MUCH DIFFERENT.....I was appalled by how much people hate this book because they say it's a cheap imitation of Twilight. Seriously? Let me say a few things......

First of all, Twilight..okay so it's about a guy, who is a vampire who meets a girl in high school and falls in love instantly. Fine whatever, it's the typical cliche yadda yadda yadda....I'm not knocking Twilight because alot of my friends love the series. I personally like the movies more, couldn't finish the series for some reason. Secondly, THEY DON'T HAVE SEX...in the first book, or the second or third. So HOW THE FUCK IS THIS THE SAME AS FIFTY SHADES????????

Okay Fifty Shades.....a girl who is in college meets a billionaire who she by chance falls in love with, he warns her to stay away..okay then he can't stay away from her. Sure that happened in Twilight too and both girls are inexperienced and naive, I'll give them that. But seriously, IT'S NOT THE SAME PEOPLE!!!!! In Fifty Shades they have hardcore monkey rabbit sex every chapter practically AND they are HUMAN. So what? Who gives a fuck if E.L James took a fanfiction and turned it around and changed some things and then made it her own. I personally love it more than Twilight. But that's just me. And I say KUDOS TO YOU E.L JAMES.....you're a fucking genius!!!!

Now to get on with it...I'm not going to write the synopsis as we all or most anyway know roughly what this book is about. Instead I am going to talk about my favorite and least favorite things about Fifty..

1. The characters. I. Loved. The. Characters. I mean, Ana was so amazing. She was a strong, levelheaded..albeit a little naive and insecure at times. But hey, who isn't? And anyway, her whole life was turned upside down by the RR ordeal. HOLY. FUCK. She wasn't the only one taken aback by the revelation, one of many that had me in turmoil and despair. But seriously, I loved her anyway. She was definitely a better heroine than Bella.
Christian. OH SWEET LORD CHRISTIAN. Where do I start with you? I loved him. LOVED HIM. OH MY GOD. He is definitely FIFTY shades of fucked up...but he can be my shades of fucked up anyday. My new quote that I'll always refer to is, "I'm Fifty shades of fuck me, Christian." GOD. DAMN. I want him. There were many and I mean MANY moments of changing my panties. Fucking shit, I was on the verge of just staying in the tub with the water running the whole time while reading this. But then I thought probably not a good idea to mix water with my nook...knowing me I'd fuck it up, then I'd just drown myself. So yea, I love Fifty. Love him so much! Even though he was bossy, domineering, stalkerish, jealous, shady, forceful, psycho, abnormal, unstable, mental, and everything else you long to steer clear of....in spite of all of those things, I LOVED HIM! I mean who wouldn't? Well, besides sane, stable women..who the fuck wants to be sane? Or normal? Fuck all that...it's boring and dull. Hell, with Fifty you would never know what to expect and it would be a thrilling ride. OH YEA, a thrilling RIDE....*wink wink* I sure got my fun ride with him...fuck me! But seriously, despite all that I listed that was wrong with him, I know there is a better version of Christian. He did have a FUCKED UP life so it stems from that and that's partly why is he screwed up. This is a journey that I look forward to because I know by the end of this series, we'll understand him better. I mean we already catch glimpses of his better self at times. Ana I think is good for him. She will change him in ways he never thought possible. And I can't wait for that. They are both struggling internally and I think they will both benefit one another in the long run.
Elliot and Kate. I loved these guys. They are both awesome characters. Kate is such a bad ass chick. She's tough, sweet, but has a don't-take-shit-from-anyone attitude. I love that about her. She tells Fifty off at one point and I think he needs that at times. He forgets how different he is from Ana and how he needs to tone down his shit. So Kate compliments her in that respect. But she too has never fallen in love with anyone until Elliot comes along. Overall, Kate and Elliot rock..look forward to more of their story.
All other characters are amazing as well. The dynamic and development is superb!

2. Plot. Okay, like I said before this was an amazing story. I loved the whole college girl-interviews-rich, hot billionaire-falls in love-and finds out some fucked up secrets about him type of thing. Now, the whole RRoP thing was effed up. I mean, holy shit. The things he taught her, or did to her...God almighty. Some of it was HOT but some of it was HOLY FUCK how does she stand there and take it? Wow, I was amazed, appalled, turned on all at the same time. I didn't know which one to feel because as soon as one emotion wore off, the next one began. Damn, this was a whirlwind of fucked up-ness. I loved it.though.

3. Writing. I loved the writing. Although I gotta say, it felt like we were British or something...they don't use "fetch" here in America. But after I was informed that James is British, it made sense. I had to look up a bunch of words too, to understand what was said. But overall, I enjoyed the writing style. I love the cursing, and the constant nagging of her subconscious and "inner goddess"....that was badass. Yea, my inner goddess is Scarlett..she LOVED FIFTY. Oh man was she obssessed!!!! LOL

4. Dialogue between Ana and Christian. Here is my favorite part. I LOVED the witty and flirty banter beween these two. They were so flirty and cute and sweet. I smiled and laughed and was in complete awe throughout most of this book. Their constant flirting and sexy talk was just too much. Oh and the emails. Oh God, they put the awesomeness into their writing. Aside from when he was being such a nagger and dominating tyrant...he was sweet, caring, loyal and irresistable and his words proved that he had some emotion in his body. God I love him. Everyone should have a Fifty...too bad he doesn't exist. *pouty face*

Bottom line is...obviously this book is NOT FOR EVERYONE. But those that love a good, albeit sexually arousing erotic romance...this is for you! THANKS TO ALL MY LOVELY FRIENDS WHO FINALLY CONVINCED ME TO READ THIS BOOK. I can NOT wait for the next two!!!!!!

P.S. IAN SOMERHOLDER FOR FIFTY for the movie!!!!! HE IS SO FIFTY!


FAVORTIE QUOTES:

“- "Why don't you like to be touched?"
- "Because I'm fifty shades of fucked-up, Anastasia”

“Laters, baby.”

“His head turns fractionally toward me, his eyes darkest slate. I bite my lip.
“Oh, fuck the paperwork,” he growls. He lunges at me, pushing me against the wall of the elevator. Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in one of his in a vice-like grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his hips. Holy shit. His other hand grabs my ponytail and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine. It’s only just not painful. I moan into his mouth, giving his tongue an opening. He takes full advantage, his tongue expertly exploring my mouth. I have never been kissed like this.”


“Oh, fuck the paperwork”

“Does this mean you’re going to make love to me tonight, Christian?” Holy shit. Did I just say that? His mouth drops open slightly, but he recovers quickly. “No, Anastasia it doesn’t. Firstly, I don’t make love. I fuck… hard. Secondly, there’s a lot more paperwork to do, and thirdly, you don’t yet know what you’re in for. You could still run for the hills. Come, I want to show you my playroom.”


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Tempting the Best Man

Tempting the Best Man by J. Lynn
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

*WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT* YOU'RE BEING WARNED.



GOD DAMN FUCKING SHIT. There I said it. I just read my first adult book and I didn't even know it. Okay, by the title of the book I should have guessed it. But let's not talk about my roots please, I'd rather discuss this book.

First of all, once again I was still out of town when I checked on GR and saw a friend had read this book. I had no idea what this book was about or who was the author or anything. I go on and read the synopsis...and yes it still didn't sink in that it was adult. Fuck, I'm slow, sue me! Anyway, so I read my friends' review and at the mere mention of JENNIFER L ARMENTROUT.....but secretly J. Lynn for this book, I was ALL OVER THIS SHIT! I marked it to read. And since I had no internet connection being that I was at my grandparents house who don't believe in internet for the love of God, I was pissed. I couldn't download it on my nook yet. Fuck me, I have to wait. I was dying..after reading the reviews I wanted that book then. I couldn't go anywhere that had reception either because my nook was dead. Just my luck.

So the first thing I do when I get home is download that son of a bitch on my barnes and noble account so once it was charged, I'd go to town on that book.


OH. DEAR. SWEET. BABY. JESUS. Okay, so Daemon who?? No wait, that's not fair...he'd have sex with Katy if the YA genre allowed it to go that far. Okay, so he's still my Daemon. *blows Daemon kisses*

When I first read this book, I didn't know what to expect. I was floored. Eventually it sunk in that this was NOT YA. No way, it couldn't be. I mean Jen used the word "cock" "dick" "hard on" so many times, I was like "fucking hell, just get it on already....hell I did." Oh did I ever. Gawd. Jesus. This was so very detailed and raunchy...and PERFECT. I mean, it's Jennifer Armentrout for Christ's sake. She could do no wrong. So I was planning on meeting Christian Grey for my first adult sexy sexcapades....but instead I meet Chase Gamble. Holy Hell. He set my vagina in a frenzy. Shit! First off, there is something sexy about that name to begin with...but add on a hot, sexual beast and good God. He made me weak in the knees....and of course many other places as well.

So upon Maddie's brother's wedding...she's of course Maid of Honor. Her longtime heartthrob crush who's been more like a brother to her in the protective sense....Chase *HARD ON* Gamble is Mitch's Best Man. Damn. That's a hard pill to swallow. They had one passionate night in college on the couch of his new nightclub's office, which left Maddie brokenhearted after telling her that he was drunk and that shit wasn't happening again.

Seeing Chase again after some time was as difficult and almost a slap in the face, reminder of her strong feelings that never dissipated. Everyone knows they are meant to be together. So why aren't they?

Because Chase won't get off his high horse and shove his "I'm like my cheating bastard father who will hurt you in the end" spiel up his ass. Really, he's nothing like his father who cheated on his mother and left her with 3 boys to raise on her own. They turned out to be great guys, even if they feel differently. I loved Chad. He was hilarious. And Chandler was pretty bad ass too. Their bond was really tight. But they grew up in the Daniels household, they spent more time with Mitch and Maddie and her parents than with their mother. They became a big family. So Chase always looked after her like a protective older brother. It was sweet and she enjoyed it...except she wanted more. Alot more. Friendship with Chase Gamble was never enough for Maddie. But he complicated everything.

In the scheme of things, they kept getting locked in places and pushed together as it was obvious the family revolted against them to make them realize they were meant to be together. They actually had to share a cabin during the wedding weekend. There was a mix up and only one cabin left....THE HONEYMOON SUITE at that. Damn...what more of a sign did that sexy man need. But he didn't want her to become just another one of his conquests. He truly cared about her, he was just afraid it was more than that....the L word. They got locked in a wine cellar and OMG...that scene was off the chain. It was sex sex sex....oh dear God I feel it between my thighs....*closes eyes*

Okay. *composed* Whew. So, after that their attraction and connection deepens and he realizes he can't keep his dick from erecting every time she's near and it drives him wild. He offers a proposition....one night of hot and unforgettable sex...and then they can go back to being "normal" again.

Are you fucking kidding me? I was a little angry with him then...and so was Maddie. How dare he play her like that. Once his brother talks some Oprah sense into him...it becomes perfectly clear to him that he's not his father. He's a decent guy who is capable of thinking with his heart...not just his cock. Oh Lord, I think there was a nuclear war that broke out....Hallelujah! He admitted it. Then following was....um WOW, one of the most arousing and holy shit Jenn is brilliant. I can't think. My vag...oh my word...she I mean it like, well then and I was...see, I can't form a coherent sentence. That scene had all sorts of shit shooting out of me. Oh God, that was too personal. Erase that....I mean skip over that. Haha, my reviews get pretty explicit...about as explicit as Armentrout's sex scenes.

Well, the day after the sex of all sex scenes things get more complicated...and I won't say what happens next. You've got to read this...if you think Daemon is a sex crazed alien, God I can only imagine how he would be if he were to get sex Katy up. Mmmmmmm, pleasant thoughts.

So, after reading this my eyes filled with tears. God, I'm such a baby. But I loved it...of course the last 10 pages I was sitting there going "What the hell just happened? OMG, this is crazy...over that? But why didn't they? She didn't. But no, he did not! No, he didn't. Huh, I'm so confused." Yea that was me...my eyes wide and mouth open ready to like hurl my nook at the window. But instead, I kept pushing through and reading. It was so good. Wow, Jennifer never ceases to amaze me with her awesomeness!!! I can't wait to read more of her erotic pieces...if she continues. Cause HOT DAMN she excels in the adult world...and we already knew she kicks ass in YA. Seriously, a Jennifer Armentrout fan??? Pick this book up!!!!

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