Review: Find You in the Dark by A. Meredith Walters

Find You in the Dark by A. Meredith Walters
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Wow, I'm in absolute tears and depression right now. This was such a hard book to read. I cried through most of it. I need to get my emotions together to write my review. But after reading the sneak peek for the sequel which is in Clay's POV, I am more than positive that there is light at the end of the tunnel, somewhere. But this is NOT an HEA, so if you're looking for that in this book, don't look further. I need the sequel now!!! My heart hurts so bad for these characters.



Okay, I am not sure how to start this. This book still weighs heavy on my mind since I finished at 4 am. But I will start out by giving this author kudos, for addressing such a heavy issue and doing it tragically beautiful. I don't know how she did it, but this is definitely a book that will stay with me for a long time. I've known people in my life who suffered from bi-polar disorder and personality disorder. These are NOT easy issues to cover. But somehow, I was thrown into this darkness that I could not climb out of, much like Clay Reed. So, with that said...Good job A Meredith Walters. It proves me to be even more of a masochist, but I am okay with that. It's books like these that make me love reading so much more. And if that makes me sick, then so fucking be it.

So we have Maggie Young, a seventeen year old who is in her senior year of high school. She's a sweet and caring person. She loves her family and her two best friends, Rachel and Daniel and would do anything for them. Her life is anything but fun. She does the same things everyday and is not at all spontaneous. She starts to wish there was something more to life than this monotony she lives through. Don't we all??

That is...til she runs into Clay Reed, literally runs into him in the school parking lot. He's the new student who moved from Florida. He's dark, mysterious and oh so good looking. Everyone tries to bully him, especially the popular jackass Paul who makes a scene at lunch one day. Yelling at Clay, calling him a pussy and breaking his MP3 player. But Clay does nothing but keep his head down and his gaze anywhere but on Paul. To Maggie, it's very disconcerting that he would let such a prick humiliate him in front of everyone so she intervenes. He's not happy about the save, letting Maggie know it was not her business. What is he a Damsel in Distress? No guy wants a girl to "save" them from public humliation-it's embarrassing and takes their "man card" away. What....ever.

Clay:



After all the cold shoulders and hissing that Clay does, Maggie has had enough. She's intrigued by his secretive side and wants to know more about him so she makes it a mission to butt into his life. And she won't back down. Much to Clay's dismay, he finally lets her in..a little at a time. He shows her a little bit of living and she finally gets to see what spontaneous is like. She stops hanging out with her friends to spend as much time with Clay as possible. Their friendship grows and soon becomes something more, they fall in love. It also becomes destructive and fast. Because there seems to be a wall between them, something that Clay is still hiding from her. When she finally learns his family history and of his sickness, she does everything in her power to save him. But is love really enough?

Maggie and Clay:



Ahhhhh, this book. It broke me to pieces. I was on pins and needles. Constantly biting my nails in fear, frustration, pain and anger. Clay suffers from mental health issues. His parents were never the loving type, in fact his parents are probably a big reason he's so fucked up and I HATE THEM!!! They are inconsiderate, self-centered, evil people. They always blamed him for his issues and called him every bad name in the book, making him feel like an embarrassment. How the hell can you call yourself a parent when you're anything but...evil sons of bitches. Yes, excuse the cursing but his mother made me want to throw my nook at my wall and then sob. I hated how she acted toward Maggie and blamed her for everything that's wrong with him. Fuck you. Ugh. That woman got under my skin like no other.



Seriously, I know this is a hard book to read but I couldn't stop-and didn't want to. I've dealt with this kind of stuff and its not pretty. But the author really did a good job of dragging me into the pits of hell with Clay and all I wanted to do was.....




It was so hard to read what he was going through. I cried, I sobbed and I wanted to help Maggie too. She was so helpless, thinking that her love would save him-them. That all you need is love. But sometimes, even love isn't enough. Sometimes the darkness sucks you under so quickly, you can't breathe...




Just when I thought things were going to be okay....



I was a mess. I couldn't breathe. I cried so much. I felt Maggie's pain, her helplessness, her fear...everything. I loved Clay. He was a broken and very sick boy. I wanted him to have a happy ending. But sometimes even happy endings are impossible.



I don't know if this book is for everyone, but those that can handle such monumental issues will like this. Those that are masochists like me....read it. I want to discuss this book with others. I want opinions...



If you choose to read this, just know there is a sequel...and its from his POV and I can't effing wait. I want it....NOW!!! I'm dying here....I want more. I love them. Maggie and Clay. I want them to have a happy ending. Dammit to hell. This is me at the last page....




I loved Maggie for being one of the only people that really loved Clay. The only one that wanted to help him-even though she may in some way enabled his tendencies. But what did she know? She got in too deep and couldn't get out, because she loved him enough to try and help him. Unlike his parents who did nothing but make him feel worthless and want to end his life. There were many things that happened in this book that made you question whether it was right or wrong. Maggie wanted to live a perfect normal life with her amazing boyfriend, and sometimes he was amazing. But in an instant, his moods went off the handle and he was a complete dick. How do you justify your relationship with that person? That's not love, yet she would not give up on him. It broke my heart. I feared for his life and for hers as well. Gah, this is hard. I can clearly visualize everything that happened. I loved Rachel and Daniel too. They were good friends and even though they didn't understand what was happening, they were always there for Maggie.

All in all, the writing was great! The story, obviously a hard pill to swallow, the characters were memorable and the end....well the end will kill you. Just have tissues handy. And then when you read Clay's POV in the back-a sneak peek at the sequel, you'll feel a sense of hope for the future. Maybe a light....go to the light. Ahhhh I want...I want that book NOW NOW NOWWW! Please don't make me wait too long.

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